Seducing Mr. Right

Posts Tagged ‘Profiles’

Seducing Mr Right- Deception in Online Dating

A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along.

Women Lie About Weight, Men Lie About Height Click HERE for Match.com Free Trial

• Men are more likely to make the first move, sending that first “wink” or email. They’re quicker to respond to women’s queries.
• Women responded to only 16 percent of messages, and they take longer to respond.
• Both genders seek partners similar to themselves in age, education, height, religion, politics and views about smoking.
• Women are less open-minded, at least regarding ethnicity. They’re twice as likely as men to specify that they’re seeking someone of their own ethnicity.
• Both sexes tell white lies. Men say they are a half-inch taller. Women shave five pounds off their weight.
• Women’s profiles related more to home, sex and emotions; men’s profiles talked about work.
• A photograph is the dominant predictor of whether men will connect. Women value narratives in profiles in addition to pictures.

Some of this information was garnered by content analysis of people’s actual online behavior. They tracked people’s actions (who initiated contact, how long it took to respond, words in profiles). But they must have interviewed daters to get the info on what was attractive in a profile, their true height and how much they really weighed.

In another study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by a team from Harvard Business School, Boston University and MIT, the conclusion was that less is more in how much is shared in a profile. Their reasoning: when a lot of information is exchanged, more differences are exposed and there is less attraction.

Now this conclusion I found interesting. I suppose it depends on what you are aiming to get out of the online dating experience. Personally, I was interested in meeting someone online BECAUSE of the opportunity to get to know similarities and differences without the pressure of the relationship, regardless of how early into the relationship we were ( like meeting someone at a bar and they start to like everything you like and hate everything you hate), and make decisions based on that information.

But, if you are dating online for the end result of dating, just the action, well, I can see you would want to give as little information as possible while still remaining interesting.

That seems to be such a waste of time to me. I would so much rather eliminate people that are clearly incompatible ( and I hope they would do the same to me) than date despite the core differences and try to make it work anyway.

I speak from experience. Marrying someone who doesn’t like who you really are is no fun for anyone.

Anyway, what do you think of these two studies? Anything here but common sense?

Mark August 10, 2010 at 7:58 am

I never liked putting a photo up. It bothered me to think of people I know possibly seeing my pic on an online dating site. I was always fine with exchanging pics after a woman and I had emailed a couple of times.

And I agree that there is a balance between not enough info and too much. The real problem I see is that people say the same things over and over again.

“I’m not into playing games.”

“I want to be friends first.”

“I am just as comfortable staying home and cuddling in front of the TV as I am in going out in my little black dress.”

“I like to go to museums and wineries.”

“My friends say I’m funny.”

“I like to go out and have a good time and laugh a lot.” Really? You enjoy laughing? At long last my search is over! I’ve found another who enjoys laughing!

When I read things like that above, what I’m really reading in nothing. It says nothing to me other than the woman lacks imagination. What I really want to see is some spark of intelligence in the profile. I don’t care if she likes museums. I do care if she tells me what she likes about museums — what’s her favorite exhibit she’s seen? Is there an art movement she especially likes, and why?

What a good profile does is convey a sense of the person.

I also think women respond to fewer messages because women get more messages. Men pursue. Women choose.

Wow. What a drag for the people who were using the site to really find someone. Can you imagine “flirting” with someone online who was nonexistent? Simply manufactured by the agency?

Don’t we have enough to worry about in online dating?!

Online dating agency ‘created fake profiles’
HELEN WESTERMAN
November 6, 2009 – 1:32PM

An online dating agency created fake profiles and used them to “flirt” with registered users, Australia’s consumer watchdog has revealed.

Redhotpie.com.au, which describes itself as a dating site for “singles and swingers”, has been accused of misleading conduct by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission, for creating and publishing fictional profiles on its website.

The profiles were used to send “flirt” messages to registered users. The site claims to have more than 1.6 million members and features dating advice from author Bessie Bardot.

But the ACCC said the operators of redhotpie,Mark Semaan and Maxwell James McGuire, falsely represented that members could socialise with – and potentially meet – every profile that was viewable on the site, “when it was not the case”.

It does not reveal how many profiles may be fake.

A directions hearing has been set for December 10 in Perth’s Federal Court. Source: www.theage.com.au

Not too far behind is a site that personally I love (because it worked for me!), match.com. But I can say I see the point of those who are complaining.

Match.com Posts Fake Profiles, Man Sues For Humiliation

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One of the reasons some people are wary of online dating is that people tend to stretch the truth when describing themselves. Perhaps you can build up a BS detector for embellishments of electronic personalities, but what if the dating prospects were not even real?

That’s what happened to New Yorker Sean McGinn, who’s suing dating site Match.com for keeping around profiles of former users so that it would look like the site had far more romantic prospects than it did. McGinn is suing over deception, because he sent out many emails to profiles that were essentially dead. Match.com caused him “humiliation and disappointment,” and he wants to stop Match from hurting the feelings of singles “who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply.”

For some people, it’s a big leap to start online dating, and knowing that you may be signing up for even more rejection (however genuine) is a total deterrent.

So aside from McGinn, I know plenty of people with horror stories about love and the laptop. What’s your best and worst online dating story?

I am a big fan of online dating. I think it is the most efficient way to find a match more compatible than you can find in a bar, grocery store, at work….

But these companies need to be careful about their practices. It’s easy enough to have your heart broken!

Match.com – Everyone knows someone who met on Match.com.

Now it’s your turn. Search Now!

NEW YORK -- When it comes to love, Kathleen Hanover is searching for a needle in a haystack. So to find Mr. Right, she has profiles on at least five online dating sites.Hanover, who owns a marketing business, figured it's simple math.

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by Sara Musfeldt The first time I tried online dating I was terrified. The second time I was frustrated. The third time was better because I got the attention I wanted. This happened because I took the time to experiment with my profile, ask my friends what they were doing and read-up on the topic. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, do yourself a favor. Mistake Number One: Ignore Your Competition I went weeks without ever looking at other women’s profiles. It didn’t occur to me that I should