Seducing Mr. Right

Posts Tagged ‘Online Dating Success’

BEFORE YOU GO TO MATCH, MY STORY…

The red button below will get you Match.com FREE for 7 days. It is an amazing deal.

There is someone for everyone. Match is the most amazing way to find someone.

I truly did find my love on Match.com. I was at a Christmas party a few years back and a friends mom was talking about Match.com and all of the interesting men she had met as a result of being on the site. She hadn’t met anyone serious, but had met a few men that intrigued her.

Left alone with my laptop later that night, I thought I would go on and look at the men, see what I thought. At the time, the site would not let me on without signing up. I wasn’t thrilled to sign up, but I did it. I was curious!

I had to tweak my profile, change a setting here or there to get the desired results, but once I did, I liked what I saw. For instance, the body types you have to pick for yourself seemed a little too narrow for my taste. I selected “curvy”, because I am. But, apparently in online dating code, that means “fat”. So I changed it to slim and athletic, which I also am, and found I was matched with more appropriate men.

Remember, this happened at a Christmas party. By the 2nd week of January, I went out with Roland and our wedding date is set for 10-10-10.

I am so very happy and wish I could share this experience with everyone. It is a special thing when your find the level of compatibility online and then meet in person.

So I only did it for one month. I think a month is like $30-$40. But with this 7 day FREE trial, you COULD get away with paying nothing. It is well worth the money anyway.

The next page will take you to the form. Try it today!

Seducing Mr Right- Deception in Online Dating

A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along.

Women Lie About Weight, Men Lie About Height Click HERE for Match.com Free Trial

• Men are more likely to make the first move, sending that first “wink” or email. They’re quicker to respond to women’s queries.
• Women responded to only 16 percent of messages, and they take longer to respond.
• Both genders seek partners similar to themselves in age, education, height, religion, politics and views about smoking.
• Women are less open-minded, at least regarding ethnicity. They’re twice as likely as men to specify that they’re seeking someone of their own ethnicity.
• Both sexes tell white lies. Men say they are a half-inch taller. Women shave five pounds off their weight.
• Women’s profiles related more to home, sex and emotions; men’s profiles talked about work.
• A photograph is the dominant predictor of whether men will connect. Women value narratives in profiles in addition to pictures.

Some of this information was garnered by content analysis of people’s actual online behavior. They tracked people’s actions (who initiated contact, how long it took to respond, words in profiles). But they must have interviewed daters to get the info on what was attractive in a profile, their true height and how much they really weighed.

In another study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by a team from Harvard Business School, Boston University and MIT, the conclusion was that less is more in how much is shared in a profile. Their reasoning: when a lot of information is exchanged, more differences are exposed and there is less attraction.

Now this conclusion I found interesting. I suppose it depends on what you are aiming to get out of the online dating experience. Personally, I was interested in meeting someone online BECAUSE of the opportunity to get to know similarities and differences without the pressure of the relationship, regardless of how early into the relationship we were ( like meeting someone at a bar and they start to like everything you like and hate everything you hate), and make decisions based on that information.

But, if you are dating online for the end result of dating, just the action, well, I can see you would want to give as little information as possible while still remaining interesting.

That seems to be such a waste of time to me. I would so much rather eliminate people that are clearly incompatible ( and I hope they would do the same to me) than date despite the core differences and try to make it work anyway.

I speak from experience. Marrying someone who doesn’t like who you really are is no fun for anyone.

Anyway, what do you think of these two studies? Anything here but common sense?

Mark August 10, 2010 at 7:58 am

I never liked putting a photo up. It bothered me to think of people I know possibly seeing my pic on an online dating site. I was always fine with exchanging pics after a woman and I had emailed a couple of times.

And I agree that there is a balance between not enough info and too much. The real problem I see is that people say the same things over and over again.

“I’m not into playing games.”

“I want to be friends first.”

“I am just as comfortable staying home and cuddling in front of the TV as I am in going out in my little black dress.”

“I like to go to museums and wineries.”

“My friends say I’m funny.”

“I like to go out and have a good time and laugh a lot.” Really? You enjoy laughing? At long last my search is over! I’ve found another who enjoys laughing!

When I read things like that above, what I’m really reading in nothing. It says nothing to me other than the woman lacks imagination. What I really want to see is some spark of intelligence in the profile. I don’t care if she likes museums. I do care if she tells me what she likes about museums — what’s her favorite exhibit she’s seen? Is there an art movement she especially likes, and why?

What a good profile does is convey a sense of the person.

I also think women respond to fewer messages because women get more messages. Men pursue. Women choose.

www.SeducingMrRight.com

www.dawnallred.wordpress.com

by Amy Waterman, Relationship Expert

How many dates does it take to make a decision about whether or not you want to pursue a relationship?

I’ve always been curious about this aspect of dating, because very few women have comparable experiences. With some dates, the knowledge is immediate and instinctual. With other dates, months may pass before the endearing nature of his laugh, his smile, his character becomes apparent.

I know that I am a slow warmer. I am wary when I meet a man for the first time. I am dubious of his intentions. I read innuendo where none was intended. It takes me time to let down my guard.

It’s not because I’m naturally a suspicious person. It’s because, in the realm of relationships, I’ve been burned enough by bad apples.

I’m representative of most women my age. By one’s thirties, one has experienced enough bad relationships to associate the dualities of pain and pleasure with a man. One is never sure how much to trust.

But this isn’t natural.

Twenty years ago, I loved all boys. I played with them innocently and full-heartedly. Boys were my playmates, my cohorts in crime, and my teammates for games. I could think no evil of boys. Their strange preferences for dirt, body odor, cars, and constrictive underpants were simply idiosyncrasies of fascinating playmates.

As I grew older, I realized that boys could no longer be trusted to play innocently with me. My first two male friends in college were cool–a jazz musician and an Apple Mac gamer–until I realized they “liked” me. I quickly dissolved the friendships. I wanted the innocent companionship and friendship of my childhood male schoolmates. I didn’t realize that maturing would erase that possibility completely.

When do we women lose our innocence with men? And can we ever regain it?

In my line of work, one great danger is to take relationships and attraction too seriously. Many women feel that the potential of the man they are seeing is a matter of life or death. Instead of having fun playing with him (like a child with a favorite playmate), they evaluate his potential as a father. They situate any future relationship squarely in the realm of adulthood. The rest of their lives is at stake.

My flatmate tells me that the definition of compatibility as a couple is when his or her issues are compatible with your issues.

That’s a pretty adult view of the situation.

I have a different view. I believe that you know a man is compatible with you if he likes to play the same “games” you like to play. Maybe you like to tease in a certain way; maybe there’s a certain game in bed that you like to play. Maybe you like to go out; maybe you like to mountain bike. If he likes to enjoy himself and have fun and laugh in the same ways as you, you’ve found a potential soulmate.

We all knew back in childhood that there were some children that we could play with for ages, and there were others who liked games that didn’t interest us. It’s the same with men and women.

Yet in our attempt to find a suitable man, we often forget to look for one that we have fun with. One that makes the kinds of jokes we find funny (and laughs at our jokes). One that is up for any crazy scheme we propose. One that will make our life happy and light-hearted, not just important and successful.

Life is serious and dry enough. We don’t need relationships to replicate those patterns.

Relationships should be a haven from life’s dry seriousness. You should be able to feel like a child with your partner, unembarrassed at the silliest of games. Together, you will be responsible for forming a life, raising children, making a home … but all this will only be enjoyable if you can laugh together.

I have been out on dates with many successful, intense, highly attractive men. I admire them, appreciate them, and learn much from conversations with them. These are the men who will shape the world. No woman can fail to respond to their power.

But as for myself … in my little, humble world … I envision my ideal future as one in which there is always laughter, in which I can return to childhood with my spouse and play those games that I didn’t get to play enough before I grew “old.” I want us to be able to chase one another around the room, have pillow fights, and wrestle. I want us to tease one another, share silly jokes, and dissolve the seriousness of a working day with the magical spell of humor.

So, I suppose, the answer to my question is that it takes exactly the number of dates you need to decide whether you’ve found a companion you can play with. Some kids find a game they can play with each other right off the bat. Other kids end up trying lopsided games that one but not the other likes until they either find a game they like in common or give up.

Trust your child-heart’s instinct. Ask yourself … if you were a kid, would you play with this guy? Or would he be one of those kids who tries to control the game, or change the rules, or cheat?

A partner who makes life more fun is a treasure indeed,

All the best in life and love,

Amy Waterman
Host of “How to Be Irresistible to Men”
Click Here To Learn More!

***********************************************************************************
About the author:

Amy Waterman is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has extensive experience in helping women find love with her insightful and powerful secrets into attracting love and making relationships work. She is currently the host of the latest edition of “How To Be Irresistible To Men,” which is part of the 000Relationships Network.

Her innovative program is a powerful instant-access multimedia course with a comprehensive supporting workbook. Additionally, members receive a number of bonus e-books on topics ranging from overcoming shyness to kissing, a 160-minute online video library, secrets of self-hypnosis, their very own personal email consultation, and much, much more! The “How To Be Irresistible To Men” Premium Course offers all women – single or not – a dynamic and comprehensive toolkit to attract love into their lives and establish strong and supportive relationships.

You can learn more about how to meet and attract the man of your dreams and get the relationship you always wanted by clicking below.

Create The Love Life Of Your Dreams

and read Amy Waterman’s article on relationships and attraction.

www.SeducingMrRight.com

www.dawnallred.wordpress.com

***********************************************************************************

www.SeducingMrRight.com

Your HEADLINE will get your profile read or skipped.

Next to your photo, it is one of the most powerful marketing tools of your online dating profile. A good headline can draw crowds of people, even if you don’t have a photo. A bad headline however… can make you all but invisible.

IN the world of online dating, just like in the real world, a good first impression snags attention, making you stand out. NO one wants to hear that they need to change, but if you're open minded you could wind up changing your life for the better.