Seducing Mr. Right

Posts Tagged ‘Dating and Relationship Tips for Sucess’

Wow. What a drag for the people who were using the site to really find someone. Can you imagine “flirting” with someone online who was nonexistent? Simply manufactured by the agency?

Don’t we have enough to worry about in online dating?!

Online dating agency ‘created fake profiles’
HELEN WESTERMAN
November 6, 2009 – 1:32PM

An online dating agency created fake profiles and used them to “flirt” with registered users, Australia’s consumer watchdog has revealed.

Redhotpie.com.au, which describes itself as a dating site for “singles and swingers”, has been accused of misleading conduct by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission, for creating and publishing fictional profiles on its website.

The profiles were used to send “flirt” messages to registered users. The site claims to have more than 1.6 million members and features dating advice from author Bessie Bardot.

But the ACCC said the operators of redhotpie,Mark Semaan and Maxwell James McGuire, falsely represented that members could socialise with – and potentially meet – every profile that was viewable on the site, “when it was not the case”.

It does not reveal how many profiles may be fake.

A directions hearing has been set for December 10 in Perth’s Federal Court. Source: www.theage.com.au

Not too far behind is a site that personally I love (because it worked for me!), match.com. But I can say I see the point of those who are complaining.

Match.com Posts Fake Profiles, Man Sues For Humiliation

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One of the reasons some people are wary of online dating is that people tend to stretch the truth when describing themselves. Perhaps you can build up a BS detector for embellishments of electronic personalities, but what if the dating prospects were not even real?

That’s what happened to New Yorker Sean McGinn, who’s suing dating site Match.com for keeping around profiles of former users so that it would look like the site had far more romantic prospects than it did. McGinn is suing over deception, because he sent out many emails to profiles that were essentially dead. Match.com caused him “humiliation and disappointment,” and he wants to stop Match from hurting the feelings of singles “who feel rejected when their e-mails get no reply.”

For some people, it’s a big leap to start online dating, and knowing that you may be signing up for even more rejection (however genuine) is a total deterrent.

So aside from McGinn, I know plenty of people with horror stories about love and the laptop. What’s your best and worst online dating story?

I am a big fan of online dating. I think it is the most efficient way to find a match more compatible than you can find in a bar, grocery store, at work….

But these companies need to be careful about their practices. It’s easy enough to have your heart broken!

Match.com – Everyone knows someone who met on Match.com.

Now it’s your turn. Search Now!

Q&A: How Do I Get Him Back? This time I’m sharing a great question from a reader. It’s a question I get all the time from women that points out a common misunderstanding women have about men. Reader: Dear Christian, I’m sorry but I need to ask you a question. I need advice and help. Me and my ex have been together off and on many times, recently we just broke up and now he’s dating someone else. (he doesn’t know what he wants) But I know he still has very big feelings for me and I want advice and help on getting him back. Even though he’s dating someone right now, he still has feelings for me, and I need help on getting him back with me and not with her. Please help! Sincerely, Needy and Hopeless My Answer: Thanks for writing, your email has about 147 great things here. Let’s look at a few of them… The first important issue is that you’re ignoring all the important signs your ex is giving you. Men send a ton of silent “signals” that are out there waiting for women to tune into and pick up on. And to learn from. Some of these signals that men send are indirect and unintentional – but others men know they’re sending out. Please don’t be naive. Wake up! Realize what’s going on here. If he’s dating someone else, you’ve got to start moving on. That’s a direct and intentional signal. He doesn’t share your feelings of wanting to get back together in a committed relationship with you. If you challenge this idea, you need to recognize something important… That he’s not in the right place in his life to share what you want with him. What you really need for yourself is to find a healthy way to take some of the focus off of him and put it back on you and your life. This doesn’t mean you have to go out and date right now, but you need to take your mind off him. I know it’s hard to do this when you still have intense feelings for him. But the simple truth is that you’re setting yourself up for ALL KINDS of pain and disappointment… Yeah, I’ve seen couples get back together like this – but the odds are things don’t look good for this old relationship. The more you can distance yourself from your ex whose dating another woman, the happier you’ll be. Trust me. And I know doing this is tough, but you’ve got to do it if you’re going to find your way to a new and improved situation – with or without him. Here’s something else critical going on for you… You’re making a lot of assumptions about HIS feelings when you say “he has very strong feelings for me.” Do the math. You know he’s dating someone else. By thinking about how you believe he FEELS inside is only keeping you stuck on him and your beliefs about the good person he can be and how great things COULD be together. Let me put it another way- What are his actions and behaviors saying? If you listen to the signals your ex is sending you, you’ll see that his “feelings” he shares are just his way of holding onto you for his own comfort and benefit. Why wouldn’t he want to keep you around if he’s “unavailable” to really commit – because being with the other woman and still being connected to you keeps him from being fully involved in any real situation with either of you. He’s already dating another woman. That should give you a clear idea of where his mind is at (not focused on getting back with you) and what his “feelings” TRULY are. Here’s what I want you to do first and foremost… Think about making some decisions for YOURSELF. Right now it sounds like your waiting for him to make all the decisions. Think about what YOU WANT to be happy, and remember all the things your ex has done and said to let you know he’s not committed to sharing his love with you. If you give him and yourself some space, a funny thing might happen you won’t expect… Your ex-boyfriend won’t have the comfort of two women who both want his affection. He won’t know that you’re still there waiting for him – and this will trigger thoughts and actions in him that will ultimately help resolve your situation. Until then… For your own well-being, it’s important you let him know he can’t keep sharing his intimate feelings with you while he’s dating another woman. HERE’S A RULE YOU NEED TO REMEMEBER: **** Never allow men who have “someone else” in their life to keep sharing and expressing their feelings for you. **** It’s wrong on several levels… for you most of all. When a man can have the affection of two women, and he’s in a place where he’s emotionally non-committed to either, odds are he will try to keep this situation going for as long as possible! Not all men would do this, but men who are “unavailable”, as it sounds your ex is, can continue multiple initimate situations at once. You don’t want to date a man that’s in this place in his life… and I know because I’ve been this guy in my past! NO AMOUNT of talking, experience or reasoning with him can get him to feel the way you want him to feel. You can’t change a man’s emotional depth and where he’s at in his life. “Getting him back” is a bad idea. Rarely does this give you what you think you want. It’s a losing battle, and you’re going to end up being hurt or upset again as you undoubtedly keep moving farther and farther away from what YOU ideally want and closer and closer to whatever strange and unhealthy situation he’s creating. If you feel like you HAVE to see this through, then be careful. You’re going against the odds. Don’t be “that girl”. And I promise that you’ll ruin your chances if you think you can “convince” him to come back to you through shows of affection, appeals to his desires or other “gifts” to bribe him. I’ve watched this EXACT thing unfold so many times. IT DOESN’T WORK! Instead, you should think about the times you’ve broken up and the times you’ve seen that he wasn’t personally ready for a relationship. Those things are as real as the strong feelings and emotions you feel that keeps you coming back. Use the issues and challenges you had together as a guide or a reminder of what’s keeping you two apart now. And once you start doing this, I think you’re going to be strangely surprised at what starts to happen for you… Once your guy notices that he doesn’t have you waiting around for him like a puppy dog to figure it out, while he’s off doing god knows what with other women, there’s going to be a big change in his attitude and behavior. It doesn’t make “sense”, but that’s how it WORKS. **** THE CRITICAL SKILLS OF UNDERSTANDING MEN’S SIGNALS AND IDENTIFYING GOOD MEN FROM “UNAVAILABLE TOADS”… **** You’ve got to learn to understand and identify “EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE” men. If a man doesn’t know what he wants, he generally doesn’t want what he’s got. This may sound harsh, but it’s the truth of the situation. And even when it isn’t completely true, it’s a good rule to go by. A good man who is the right person and wants to be with you will find his own way to his “Emotional Truth”. If his truth is that he wants to be with you, or not be with you, you have to respect that. But I see women do it all the time. The guy will be sending all kinds of subtle (or even direct) signs that he’s not “available” or interested in something “serious”, but the woman ignores them and just pays attention to the fact that he likes being with her when they’re together. In other words, she substitutes the physical connection, or even the occasional emotional connection, for the real relationship she wants to be in. WRONG! Men have a different “love equation” from women: A strong connection does NOT necessarily equal any interest in a relationship. That’s why it’s CRITICAL that women learn to read the signals that a man sends about where he’s at. Because he’s surely not going to just lay it all out there for you. I promise. If he does, write me an email, tell me all about it, and give me his mailing address so I can send him his prize. When a guy isn’t interested in a relationship, and he’s hdoing something like seeing other women, here’s what most women start doing that makes things go from bad to worse… They start trying to “fix” things, and “fix” the guy. And then comes the “convincing” behavior, trying to convince the man that they are the right one for him, and that because they have such a great connection, a loving “relationship” is the only right way to go. I know, it sounds bizarre. Why would a man have a great woman and a great connection with her that felt amazing when they were together, and not want a relationship? I’ll get to that later… The thing I’m worried about here for you is that in trying to get your guy back, you’re making these mistakes that are like “man-repellent”. So I’ll say it again. You can’t convince a man to want to be with you. I don’t know the specifics surrounding your off-and-on with the ex, but it speaks volumes. Especially when it’s combined with him not “knowing what he wants”. This is CLASSIC man-speak for “I’m not emotionally available and I’m not ready for a real relationship”. When he can’t get in touch with his feelings and isn’t open to exploring them, it’s a text-book case of unavailability. I don’t mean that he can’t share feelings or some level of intimacy with you… In fact, I’m sure he still likes to connect with you when things are easy-going and he’s not feeling “pressure” around you. But your ex sharing his feelings with you can easily confuse you into thinking that he is potentially the right guy and ready for a long term relationship. I’m sure you’ve seen this since you’ve been back and forth with him. But when a guy is unavailable, he has a fear of getting deeper into a relationship that he knows he’s not ready for. In his own way he’s tried to tell you this several times. Here’s what he’s saying: Yes, I have “feelings” for you. And no… that doesn’t mean I want to be in a relationship with you and be faithful. Take some time to think about the past with your ex, and then compare that to what will honestly make YOU happy, and what kind of relationship you want in your future. If you’re honest about it with yourself, I don’t think he’ll fit well into that based on his actions and behavior. Put more value on his actions, not his words. Get back to the things that you enjoy, the places you like to go and avoid places or things you used to do or see with your ex. Spend some time with your friends and give yourself the space you deserve. The less you talk about your ex and this situation for now, the better off you’ll be. And I think you’ll be amazed at the results. First, I think you’ll just plain old feel better. But even better than that, you’ll be breaking the old connection that you had with your “x”. And as counterintuitive as it sounds, breaking out of your old connection is actually the thing that’s going to change the situation for you the most and help get you the results you want. Right now, your convincing him and your wanting him back, even when he’s with another woman, is making you come off in all kinds of ways that men just don’t respond well to. I know it seems like the best idea to keep trying to stay in touch with him and keep the connection alive. But the truth is that you’re just keeping this same old situation alive by pumping your time and attention into it. If instead, you step back and stop chasing him or trying to convince him you’re the right woman, you’ll have an opportunity to do something that can honestly be ATTRACTIVE to him- You first leave a space that he’ll not recognize and not understand, which will first get him thinking about you and then wondering why you aren’t acting the way you used to. Men love “new” things and curiosities. Plus, you’ll also be able to give him the space he’s tried asking you for in his retarded emotioanally unavailable “man-speak”. Something funny happens when a man gets the space he asked for- If you do it in the right way, he’s forced to deal with himself and his own feelings to figure out that all the things he is worried about, afraid of, fearful of “committing to”, etc. And being by himself, he’ll see that these things are really just in his own mind – and not bad things about YOU. In other words – he won’t keep taking all the old “stuff” from the past that wasn’t working and keep identifying it with YOU. But you’ve to go know the way to “re-wire” the connection once you’ve broken the old one. And if you can do this, I guarantee he’ll come calling wondering about you. In my ebook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”, I spell out specific ways to communicate with men that will help you build that new connection. There are several psychological and behavioral “keys” that will help to open a man up. And just as important, they will make him feel that electric spark of ATTRACTION with you again. I’m talking about the kind of attraction that gets a guy feeling, at a deep level, that he wants to be with you right now AND far into the future. This goes for the “unavailable” guys too that seem to keep withdrawing and don’t communicate much about their feelings or what they want. These guys are the toughest ones. If there’s just ONE PIECE OF ADVICE that holds more power for women than any other when it comes to men, it’s this concept of only dating emotionally available men. In my ebook, I also talk about how to identify good men from the “unavailable” ones. If you’re dating, wouldn’t it be great to know what kind of guy you’re dealing with FROM THE START? And if think you’re already got an unavailable guy on your hands, and you’re wondering what you can do after all the frustrating disappointments that have gone on… There’s AN ENTIRE SECTION of the book dedicated to helping you both understand the emotional world of a man (yikes, right!) and how to lead him to a better way of being with and understanding you. So make the choice to do something about your love- life and create the situation you want in your life. Go check out my ebook now. You can download it and be reading it in just a couple of minutes. Check it out here: Click Here For Your Free Newsletter And eBook Download Thanks for reading and best of luck in life and love. Your Friend, Christian Carter ©Copyright 2008, Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved. Copyright materials used by permission. “Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian Carter” are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.

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When you are in the business of seducing Mr. Right, YOUR Mr. Right, it’s really important to make sure you are up on the latest greatest of the opposing team.

Meaning, I like to read the hot dating gurus for men and keep up on the tips and tricks the gurus are teaching the boys to use on us girls.

I was just reading an article by David DeAngelo. If you don’t know who he is, he is a dating guru who claims to have women wired down pat, a pro-dater and a teacher of the art. His pitch is that he is not that attractive, but still pulls women…lots of them. There is some truth to what he teaches and I am certain it works much of the time. But in reading his tips, it’s easy to see how some young bucks might get a hold of the information and really be jerks with it.

There is a difference between confidence and asshole arrogance. I am not sure the subtle differences can be taught.

Personally, I love a man who walks across a room with an air that tells everyone he is THE man in the room.

AND I am so not into being badgered by some 25 year old that thinks he can get somewhere with me by insulting me. The thing is, the moves are insulting if one does not have both the savvy confidence to pull it off.

My guess would be that even if David’s intentions are good, his teachings are used in a way that might not be great for women.

Today he discussed the topic in his newsletter. Read below:

The “Dark Side” Of Dating

Over the past few years, since I published my
book “Double Your Dating”… and since I’ve
had some “commercial” success… I’ve been
hearing more and more stories from my female
friends… and these stories are starting to
alarm me.

To explain where I’m coming from, let me
start with a story.

When I first made the decision to actually
LEARN how to become more successful with
women, I went out and did some serious
research.

I’m talking “book style” research here.

I went to the library, searched online, went
to live seminars, met dating “gurus”… and
generally tried to figure out if anyone
ELSE had spent the time to figure this stuff
out.

What I found was a “mixed bag” at best.

Some of the materials that I found sounded
good, some of the stuff sounded completely
ridiculous, and some sounded like it was
ethically sketchy and manipulative.

Now, I’m an experimenter. I’ll try just about
anything once.

And I did try ANYTHING.

One of the “mindsets” that I came across was
something that sounded VERY interesting to
me at the time.

It was the idea that a guy could make a woman
feel attraction and other sexual feelings for
him by saying things that contained “hidden
messages”… things that the woman would not
CONSCIOUSLY realize she was hearing… but
that would have the “desired effect” anyway.

On its face, this sounded rather manipulative,
but the rationalle was that it was just
“tapping into emotions that already existed”
inside of the woman… so it was “all good”.

So I tried some of this stuff.

Like I said, I’ll try anything.

My own experience was that this material very
rarely worked. And it was never CONSISTENT
for me.

Ultimately, I wound up feeling like this stuff
just wasn’t an ethical fit for me. It was a
little “over the edge” of being dishonest.

Everyone has their own sense of right and
wrong, and after trying these things, I found
that they didn’t work for me… in the sense
that I didn’t like myself more after doing or
saying them… and they didn’t FEEL right.

It’s funny, because now that I teach men how
to meet women, I get questions all the time
that start with things like “I don’t want to
use the things you teach because I don’t want
to be MANIPULATIVE with women”.

Ironic, really. Mostly because I think of the
things I teach as being NON-manipulative.

And one of the things that I’ve realized is
that being honest with yourself, and honest
with women makes you feel like a better
person inside.

And I think that the way you feel about
yourself determines so many things… from
your inner level of satisfaction with life…
to the level of trust others have for you when
they meet you.

As far as I’m concerned, the more CANDID and
HONEST you can be with yourself and others,
the more self-esteem and character you build
for the long-run.

I don’t want to start sounding like an ethics
professor or a philosopher, but let’s just say
that MORE HONEST is MORE BETTER.

BACK TO MY POINT…

The reason I tell you this story is because
the things that women have been telling me
lately are starting to really bum me out.

There are a lot of guys teaching various ways
to meet women right now… and some of them
are teaching dishonesty as a “main strategy”
with women.

And more and more guys I talk to are starting
to talk to me about very DARK ideas for meeting
women and getting dates.

Here’s the result…

I have one good female friend who recently
told me that she dated a guy a few times, and
that she recognized some “techniques” that he
was using with her.

She asked him STRAIGHT UP:

“Do you know who David DeAngelo is?”

His reply:

“No.”

Later, she went online and did a search using
his email address.

Jackpot!

She found that this particular guy was someone
who posted in underground newsgroups about his
conquests with women.

Here’s the good part:

As she was reading through his various online
posts, she found stories written detailing
everything about his experiences with HER.

Even her exact words from emails she had
written to him… copied and pasted for the
world to see.

And, as you can imagine, he know EXACTLY who
David D. was.

And my favorite part…

He detailed how he used various lines, words,
and techniques to DECEIVE my friend, along
with several other women.

ANOTHER ONE…

I have another female friend who is a very
social person… who meets a lot of people and
goes on a lot of dates.

A few times, she’s heard guys use phrases and
techniques that seem like they’ve obviosly
been learned from me… so she asks them about
it.

And guess what? Most of them DON’T OWN UP TO IT.

I mean, dude… it’s the 21st Century.

Women don’t care if you are working on learning
how to be better in this area of your life.

But they sure as hell care if you don’t have
the BALLS to be honest about it.

WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?

I have to say, I’m disappointed with this
current state of affairs.

More and more stories of guys using deliberate
lies and manipulation to get women into bed…

More and more stories of guys not being honest
with themselves and women, because they don’t
have the guts to take responsibility for their
lives…

It seems to me that some of us guys have taken
the idea of “learning cool tricks that help us
meet women” and let it turn into a kind of
“dark side” mindset of trickery, lies, and
outright deception.

It’s not cool.

You want to learn a cool new “pick up line”
or way to start a conversation… and try it
out a bunch of times in an evening, even
though it doesn’t feel “natural” to you?

Fine. Great, even.

Get outside your comfort zone, and have
some fun.

You want to learn how to use hypnotism and
other tricks to get women turned on without
them being “consciously aware” of it?

OK, I can find a way to make that one make
sense… as long as it’s done with a sense
of integrity and healthy boundaries.

You want to lie to women, make up stories
about who you are and your experiences in
life… not own up to the truth… and
generally sell your soul to get laid?

Sorry, but that’s way over the line, and it’s
sacrificing your character in order to
selfishly take advantage of another person.

And when it turns into PREYING on women in
order to fulfill your selfish needs, then I
think you’re a dark, egotistical coward…
who deserves whatever bad things may befall
you.

IN SHORT…

I am not a perfect person, and I don’t claim
to have never made a mistake in life… or
to never have had a sneaky or manipulative
thought… or never lied to someone.

But a mentor once taught me that something
CHANGES when you make the leap, and start
BEHAVING in dark ways… and then ACCEPTING
that type of thinking and behavior from yourself.

Further, I don’t think it’s NECESSARY to be
one of the “bad guys” in order to succeed
with women and succeed in life.

It’s OK to want to learn how to be more
successful with women.

It’s OK to study it, try new things, and
teach yourself this skill.

But I highly recommend that you stay honest,
you be up-front about what you’re doing with
women… and take responsibility for yourself
and your life.

I would honestly prefer that you not buy or
use any of my stuff if you’re planning to use
it in a dark, predatory way.

I realize that all of my friends who are into
marketing are going to tell me I’m stupid for
not closing this newsletter with a link to buy
my programs, but it doesn’t feel right. So if
you want to check them out, go find them on
your own.

I’ll talk to you in a couple of days.

David D.

Read more of David DeAngelo CLICK HERE NOW!

Low-fat Substitutes- The Best Options

Milk the benefits

Low-fat or Semi-skimmed milk

Using 2% or Skim Milk is an easy way to cut thousands of calories from your diet
Use semi-skimmed milk (around 2% fat) instead of whole milk (around 3.8% fat). If you’re already drinking semi, switch to skimmed. Your taste buds will adjust, and over the year you’ll be cutting thousands of calories. Continue enjoying milk – its nutritional content of protein, calcium and vitamins is highly valued by your body.

Spreading the news

Low fat spread

Replace butter with a lowfat spread. Switch to a low fat spread instead of butter or margarine – some brands have less than half the fat. Also (because they can lack the creaminess of the real deal) you can spread it really thinly too, meaning you’ll save on quantity. Remember, these products are for spreading – not cooking.

Take your cut

Lean meat

Choose lean meat for its lower fat content. It’s more expensive, so buy less and have a smaller portion. Buy lean pork steaks instead of fatty chops; eat more chicken and turkey (without skin); for roast lamb, choose leg instead of shoulder; buy ready-trimmed meat – most supermarkets have ‘healthy option’ ranges; try venison or ostrich – both are excellent low fat choices.

Don’t Mince Around

Lean ground meat

Select extra lean ground meats instead of cheaper, higher fat versions. Buy less (it will be pricier), then bulk out recipes with extra vegetables – very healthy! If making chili or spag bol, add chopped carrots, peppers, mushrooms and extra tomatoes. For cottage pie, beef up the mince mixture with swede or turnip, courgette, celery, onion and carrot.

Watch out for hidden fats

Hidden fats

Be aware of where fat lies! Processed foods can be full of them – so aim to swap those high-fat shop-bought foods like pastries, pasties, pies, cakes and biscuits for simpler, healthier home-cooked foods. Cook from scratch whenever you can – it doesn’t have to be time-consuming or expensive. Check out healthy recipes such as salmon and ginger fish cakes or skinny chicken chow mein – beats your local hands down.

Snack attack

Fruit

Do your body a favor and choose healthy snacks instead of high-fat fillers. Think fresh fruit and veg, or high-fiber, low fat foods (like nutritious home-made honey crunch bars), or even a bowl of low sugar cereal to keep hunger pangs at bay, rather than going for crisps and the like.

Soft cheese

Low fat soft cheese

Low fat soft cheese is brilliant! Use it as a spread instead of butter, marge or spreads – it adds more flavor and you can spread it thickly. Its go-with-anything taste means it works with sweet or savory flavors, so try it topped with tuna, smoked salmon, lean ham, chicken or sliced mango, peach or banana.

Hard cheese

Low fat hard cheese

Remember, hard cheese is roughly one third fat, so though it’s good for you (lots of calcium and protein), it ranks highly in the fat and calorie stakes. Substitute fat-reduced types and use where you can’t tell the difference – great grated in cheese salads, sandwiches and jacket potatoes, and for cheese sauce.

All Greek To Me

Low fat Greek yogurt

Substitute low fat natural yogurt for thick Greek yogurt – it has roughly half the fat and calories, and it’s very versatile. Use it to top fruit, cereals and soup, in dips and dunks, and for combining with other ingredients to lighten the load – like mixing with equal quantities of reduced-fat mayonnaise for a tasty dressing. This seems to be really catching on as an all-purpose substitute…it’s great!

It’s All In The Method

Steam cooking

Consider how you cook – no point choosing food wisely, then spoiling your efforts by cooking in a high fat way. Grill, steam, simmer, stir-fry, roast, poach, bake or microwave without adding excess fat. Say no to deep-frying, and when using oil, measure rather than slosh it in.

Tiny daily changes like this add up to a significant life-change when implemented. Your food quality will remain delicious..but so will your body!

Interested in more simple ways to “Cook Yourself Thin“?

Click now to check out the book and the hot new show “Cook Yourself Thin” on Lifetime Television.