Seducing Mr. Right

Archive for the ‘Living Your Best Life’ Category

BEFORE YOU GO TO MATCH, MY STORY…

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There is someone for everyone. Match is the most amazing way to find someone.

I truly did find my love on Match.com. I was at a Christmas party a few years back and a friends mom was talking about Match.com and all of the interesting men she had met as a result of being on the site. She hadn’t met anyone serious, but had met a few men that intrigued her.

Left alone with my laptop later that night, I thought I would go on and look at the men, see what I thought. At the time, the site would not let me on without signing up. I wasn’t thrilled to sign up, but I did it. I was curious!

I had to tweak my profile, change a setting here or there to get the desired results, but once I did, I liked what I saw. For instance, the body types you have to pick for yourself seemed a little too narrow for my taste. I selected “curvy”, because I am. But, apparently in online dating code, that means “fat”. So I changed it to slim and athletic, which I also am, and found I was matched with more appropriate men.

Remember, this happened at a Christmas party. By the 2nd week of January, I went out with Roland and our wedding date is set for 10-10-10.

I am so very happy and wish I could share this experience with everyone. It is a special thing when your find the level of compatibility online and then meet in person.

So I only did it for one month. I think a month is like $30-$40. But with this 7 day FREE trial, you COULD get away with paying nothing. It is well worth the money anyway.

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Seducing Mr Right- Deception in Online Dating

A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along.

Women Lie About Weight, Men Lie About Height Click HERE for Match.com Free Trial

• Men are more likely to make the first move, sending that first “wink” or email. They’re quicker to respond to women’s queries.
• Women responded to only 16 percent of messages, and they take longer to respond.
• Both genders seek partners similar to themselves in age, education, height, religion, politics and views about smoking.
• Women are less open-minded, at least regarding ethnicity. They’re twice as likely as men to specify that they’re seeking someone of their own ethnicity.
• Both sexes tell white lies. Men say they are a half-inch taller. Women shave five pounds off their weight.
• Women’s profiles related more to home, sex and emotions; men’s profiles talked about work.
• A photograph is the dominant predictor of whether men will connect. Women value narratives in profiles in addition to pictures.

Some of this information was garnered by content analysis of people’s actual online behavior. They tracked people’s actions (who initiated contact, how long it took to respond, words in profiles). But they must have interviewed daters to get the info on what was attractive in a profile, their true height and how much they really weighed.

In another study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by a team from Harvard Business School, Boston University and MIT, the conclusion was that less is more in how much is shared in a profile. Their reasoning: when a lot of information is exchanged, more differences are exposed and there is less attraction.

Now this conclusion I found interesting. I suppose it depends on what you are aiming to get out of the online dating experience. Personally, I was interested in meeting someone online BECAUSE of the opportunity to get to know similarities and differences without the pressure of the relationship, regardless of how early into the relationship we were ( like meeting someone at a bar and they start to like everything you like and hate everything you hate), and make decisions based on that information.

But, if you are dating online for the end result of dating, just the action, well, I can see you would want to give as little information as possible while still remaining interesting.

That seems to be such a waste of time to me. I would so much rather eliminate people that are clearly incompatible ( and I hope they would do the same to me) than date despite the core differences and try to make it work anyway.

I speak from experience. Marrying someone who doesn’t like who you really are is no fun for anyone.

Anyway, what do you think of these two studies? Anything here but common sense?

Mark August 10, 2010 at 7:58 am

I never liked putting a photo up. It bothered me to think of people I know possibly seeing my pic on an online dating site. I was always fine with exchanging pics after a woman and I had emailed a couple of times.

And I agree that there is a balance between not enough info and too much. The real problem I see is that people say the same things over and over again.

“I’m not into playing games.”

“I want to be friends first.”

“I am just as comfortable staying home and cuddling in front of the TV as I am in going out in my little black dress.”

“I like to go to museums and wineries.”

“My friends say I’m funny.”

“I like to go out and have a good time and laugh a lot.” Really? You enjoy laughing? At long last my search is over! I’ve found another who enjoys laughing!

When I read things like that above, what I’m really reading in nothing. It says nothing to me other than the woman lacks imagination. What I really want to see is some spark of intelligence in the profile. I don’t care if she likes museums. I do care if she tells me what she likes about museums — what’s her favorite exhibit she’s seen? Is there an art movement she especially likes, and why?

What a good profile does is convey a sense of the person.

I also think women respond to fewer messages because women get more messages. Men pursue. Women choose.

Seducing Mr Right- Top 10 Dating Mistakes You Need to Avoid

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Have you watched Millionaire Matchmaker? It’s a show where a “matchmaker” sets up millionaire men who, it appears, cannot find dates on their own with attractive women.

At first glance, you think, “You’ve got to be kidding.” But watch the show. The funny thing is, you can nearly immediately figure out why they are single. There is typically some glaring flaw that the single millionaire doesn’t see in himself. As the viewer, it’s easy to see. The dating mistakes men make…

But that’s the benefit of NOT being the one on display. It’s easy to see the flaws in others, but we live with ourselves. We know why we do the things we do. We have REASONS why we do the things we do.

And sometimes these relationship mistakes are stopping us from getting what we really want.

In this case, Mr. Right.

The Top 10 Dating Mistakes to Avoid on Your First Date…(or many dates, actually)

1. Put Your Cell Away: And don’t look at it Everyone is very busy these days and he carved time out of his schedule to give you his attention (and probably buy you a meal). Give him the gift of your full attention. It’s incredibly rude to check your texts and voice mails, let alone take a call. It might not seem like it when YOU are the one on the phone, but let him do it to you and trust me, it’s going to be irritating.
2. The Ex-Factor: Um. Seems obvious, but you want to at least APPEAR available. If you go on about your ex you do yourself a disservice, actually several. Regardless of how obvious it seems to you that your ex is a jerk and did everything wrong, some of your blame WILL be obvious to the other person. We are all flawed and it’s fine once someone knows you enough to give you room for your screw-ups. But a first date is “best foot forward” time. Save the crazy for later. Secondly, it will look like he is still front of mind enough that he is your topic of conversation. Not what the new guy want to think.
3. Eat: Let your appetite be reflective of your appetite. Here’s why. Sensuality is wrapped up with lots of things, physicality, flirting, eye contact….food and drink are two on the list. I am NOT saying binge and PROVE you can match him drink for drink. I AM saying, be real. It works in your favor.
4. Drunk = Loss of Respect: Don’t think it’s “cool”. It’s the opposite. They MIGHT see you again, but you will never be in the “serious” category you will be in the “lay” category. A first date fumble like that is likely unrecoverable. And don’t throw up in his car. Also not hot.
5. Don’t Leave Your Brain at Home: Playing dumb is not sexy and adorable. It is dumb. Confidence is sexy. Bright is sexy. Humor is sexy. Oh my god I am so helpless and stupid show me everything because I am so frail is just pathetic. Pathetic is not sexy either. There are better ways to get attention. Be yourself and contribute to the experience. You’ll both have a better time.
6. My Children Are My Life: Really? Then stay home. You are not auditioning for mother. You are auditioning for position of  life partner. Let me point out that your kids are in your daily life for at most 20 years. If you are planning on living 80, you may want to pay attention to your significant other. There is no need to explain what the mother/child relationship entails. Everyone’s pretty up on that. Going out of your way to say, “Best case scenario, you’re coming in second.” doesn’t feel great to anyone. Leave the kids at home.
7. Be on Time: Waiting is painful. Again, does not look cool, fashionable, or anything good. You know what it looks like? Looks like you’re late and can’t get your cuss together to be on time. If you’re going for the whole flaky vibe, late works.
8. High Maintenance: Not good. What does that mean? It means don’t be difficult, rude, demanding. Don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu. Don’t be disappointed if he takes you for tacos. Don’t ask him what kind of car he drives. Do you really want him worrying about whether or not he can afford to take you out again? It’s your job to give yourself the lifestyle you want, not his. Don’t make him feel the financial burden of YOU on a date! Don’t go on about all of the amazing places other men have taken you/things they have bought you/how much $ they made/expensive cars you like and MY GOD don’t ask him to buy you anything. Seriously.
9. Nobody Wants to Sex Up Frump Girl/If You’re Showing Vag You’re Trying too Hard: So there is a lot of gray area in between the black and the white. Let’s see…be sexy, for sure. But UNDERSTATED sexy is best. What does that mean? Or better, what does that look like? It looks classy, but fitted, a little short, ABSOLUTELY high heels (this is not a PTA meeting), your BEST makeup including a smokey eye if you can do it right. I means you took care to get ready. It means you FEEL smokin’ hot (but not slutty).
10. Let Him Be the MAN: Aggressive and dominant don’t work on a first date (unless you’re being paid for it, but that’s a whole different blog). You might be Ms. Ball-buster career woman at work, and god knows it takes toughness to be a single mother running a household, but you are NOT at work and no one is negotiating their interest rate tonight. Be feminine and let him be masculine. Allow the process to flow naturally. Don’t steer it or push it. Don’t take the lead in a kiss. Don’t ask for a second date or even hint about it (it’s not subtle, it’s really not). You might offer to pay for your portion of the meal, but only offer once (he will 99% of the time decline), then graciously accept. Be thankful.

Have fun, be yourself, be polite, be thankful. Even if you don’t find that amazing spark, you will meet a lot of interesting people in your dating experience and your life will be richer for it.

If You Want Your Happily Ever After to Start Now, Read A Success Story Here!

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• The 1 essential piece of advice that other dating books mostly always get
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• Why pursuing perfect means you’ll never ever find what you’re searching for.

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I was looking for products Jillian Michael’s is promoting. I know she has a new show coming out because I read her facebook comments. She is pretty good at those and very real, I might add. But this is what kept coming up, the P90X stuff. I am familiar with this product because my son has it, and I KNOW it is a no joke program. But I thought I’d share it because of the incredibly favorable Amazon reviews. Check out the pictures and give it a go. It’s a solid program.

Amazon’s Sales Pitch:

Tired of ineffective workouts that sound great but produce less-than-optimal results? Turn to the P90X Extreme Home Fitness system, a bundle of 12 sweat-inducing, muscle-pumping workouts designed to transform your body from regular to ripped in just 90 days. Hosted by personal trainer Tony Horton, the series of DVDs will help you get lean, bulk up, or grow stronger, with an endless variety of mix-and-match routines to keep you motivated. The secret behind the P90X system is an advanced training technique called “muscle confusion,” which accelerates the fitness process by constantly introducing new moves and routines so that your body never plateaus and you never get bored. The more you confuse the muscle, the harder your body has to work to keep up. And the more variety you put into your workout, the better and faster your results will be. By breaking old routines and opening new doors, secondary and tertiary muscles are constantly being activated and developed.

P90x before and after

In addition to the 12 DVD workouts, the P90X comes with a comprehensive three-phase nutrition plan, specially designed supplement options, a detailed fitness guide packed with valuable information on how to get the most from your program, a How to Bring It DVD that provides a quick overview of the system, a calendar to track your progress, online peer support, and much more.

P90X

The DVD Workouts
Each of the 12 highly diverse and intense DVD workouts focuses on either a specific set of muscle groups or a unique training technique.

• Workout One: Chest & Back. This superset chest-and-back-blasting workout emphasizes two classic upper-body exercises–push-ups and pull-ups–to build strength and develop shape. The combination of these two push and pull movements will help you burn loads of calories while simultaneously attacking, strengthening, and developing multiple muscle groups.
• Workout Two: Plyometrics. Get ready to go airborne. Offering more 30 explosive jumping moves, this intense cardio routine will keep you in the air most of the time. Plyometrics, also known as jump training, has been proven to dramatically improve athletic performance. If your sport involves a ring, rink, field, court, or track, this training will give you the edge. Just be prepared to “bring it” for a full hour when you leap into this workout, because there is no letting up.
• Workout Three: Shoulders & Arms. Nothing rounds out the perfect physique like a pair of well-defined arms and shoulders, and with its potent combination of pressing, curling, and fly movements, this routine will leave you feeling stronger and looking sexier. Whether you want to build muscle mass or just slim and tighten what you’ve already got, these targeted shoulder and arm exercises will give you the results you want.
• Workout Four: Yoga X. Yoga is a vital part of any fitness regimen, and is an absolute must for an extreme program like P90X. This routine combines strength, balance, coordination, flexibility, and breath work to enhance your physique and calm your mind. Yoga X will leave you feeling energized, invigorated, and maybe even a little enlightened.
• Workout Five: Legs & Back. Get ready to squat, lunge, and pull for a total-body workout like no other. While the main focus of this workout lies in strengthening and developing the leg muscles (quads, hamstrings, glutes, and calves), there are also a handful of great pull-up exercises to give your legs a quick breather while you work the upper body.
• Workout Six: Kenpo X. Kenpo X was created to give P90X users a high-intensity cardiovascular workout packed with lots of punching and kicking combinations to improve balance, endurance, flexibility, and coordination. During this workout you’ll learn some of the most effective ways to defend yourself, while at the same time getting your body in peak condition.
• Workout Seven: X Stretch. Stretching is the one thing that will help you achieve a higher level of athleticism over a longer period of time. The X Stretch routine is an integral part of the program, as it helps prevent injuries and avoid plateaus. The extensive full-body stretches that make up this routine use disciplines from Kenpo karate, hatha yoga, and various sports to ensure that your body is fully prepared to meet all P90X challenges head-on.
• Workout Eight: Core Synergistics. Each and every exercise in the Core Synergistics workout recruits multiple muscle groups to build and support the core (lumbar spine and trunk muscles), while at the same time conditioning your body from head to toe. Loaded with a variety of fun, unique, and challenging exercises, this routine will get you moving in all directions to maximize your P90X results.
• Workout Nine: Chest, Shoulders, & Triceps. Packed with an array of moves that target both large and small muscles, this workout will do wonders for your upper body. In just one full sequence you’ll get a healthy dose of presses, flys, and extensions to push you to the brink. The results will be a stronger, leaner, and highly defined upper torso that will leave you looking awesome, with or without a shirt.
• Workout 10: Back & Biceps. With a host of curls and pull-ups, this routine will make it fun to flex those powerful biceps. But don’t worry, ladies–by using lighter weight, you can focus on toning and tightening these showcase arm muscles without adding the size that most guys covet. Additionally, this workout also provides some great back definition that everyone can appreciate. Regardless of your goals, you will achieve them in dramatic fashion if you dig in and max out your reps.
• Workout 11: Cardio X. This low-impact cardio routine can be used in a variety of ways to meet your P90X goals. Use it in addition to your standard P90X workload when you want to burn some extra calories, or as a substitute if your body needs a break from the program’s high-impact workouts. Whatever your reason for using Cardio X, you’ll find it a fun, full-throttle, fat-burning workout that will leave you feeling lean and mean.
• Workout 12: Ab Ripper X. The combination and sequence of movements in this unique workout taps into not only abdominal strength, but true core strength as well. Master these 11 highly effective exercises and you will achieve vital abdominal muscle strength to benefit your overall health and physical performance. You’ll also develop that highly coveted six-pack as you take Ab Ripper X to full throttle. It’s extreme work that’s better than any machine in any club.

P90X

P90X Fitness Guide
This is your road map and your plan of attack for using P90X. Learn guidelines for getting started and essential tips for how to make the most of the program. The fitness guide provides you tips to reduce your chance of injury; a fit test; recommended supplements and equipment; detailed instructions for stretching, warming up, and performing exercises; and guidelines to help you select which P90X phase to complete, whether Classic, Doubles, or Lean.

The Nutrition Plan
Following the P90X nutrition plan is just as vital to your overall success as any of the extreme workouts in this program. Specifically designed to work in tandem with the P90X workout routines, this three-phase eating plan recommends the perfect combination of foods to satisfy your body’s energy needs every step of the way. P90X is not about quick fixes or miracle diets. It’s about selecting the healthy foods that you want to eat, and determining the portion amounts that will provide your body with the right amount of fuel to excel during exercise. The P90X nutrition plan offers three phases. Phase 1 is the Fat Shredder, a high-protein-based diet designed to help you strengthen your muscles while simultaneously and rapidly shedding fat from your body. Phase 2 is the Energy Booster, a balanced mix of carbohydrates and proteins with a lower amount of fat to achieve additional energy for performance. And Phase 3 is the Endurance Maximizer, an athletic diet of complex carbohydrates, lean proteins, and lower fat, with the emphasis on more carbohydrates. You’ll need this combination of foods as fuel to get the most out of your final few weeks and truly be in the best shape of your life.

Tools to Keep You Motivated

• P90X Calendar to set your workout goals, track your progress, and stay motivated.
• Free Online Support Tools for access to fitness experts, peer support, and motivation.

It’s a good system. I will be giving it a go when I get back from Italy, where I have eaten more pasta than I care to admit.

Click the pictures to check it out now!