Seducing Mr. Right

Seducing Mr Right- First Date Must Haves

When you’re out with your friends, look at the way they’re dressed and make a note of what you like about them. You’ll probably notice things like their fabulous vintage Sixties shift dress, bold geometric earrings, beautifully streaked urchin crop or elaborate eyeliner teamed with metallic eyeshadow for a cutting-edge look.

If however, you asked a man to comment on your mates’ attire, he’d probably point out ,“the one in the shapeless dress, her with the big triangles in her ears, that one with short boy’s hair and her mate with the scary gold eyes.”

Knee Length Boots Make Your Legs Look Sexy!

Men see women’s appearances in a very different way from other women – while ladies judge how a certain look works on someone, men are more likely to notice certain staples they find attractive or repellent, and ignore the rest. Be aware of the things guys always find it hard to stomach, as well as what’ll make you stand out in their eyes.

• Top Turn-Off: Too Much Make-Up This doesn’t just mean foundation so thick you could chuck rocks at it. Men aren’t keen on very obvious make-up such as bright red lips or bold eyeshadow – they prefer to be able to see what a girl’s face looks like without a lot of paint on her skin. What you think looks colorful, futuristic or vampish, they’ll see as obscuring your features.
• Top Turn-On: Come-Hither Eyes Quiz any group of men on their favorite (non-sex-related) parts of a woman and the top response is bound to be ‘nice eyes’. Make the most of the ‘windows on your soul’ by adding eyeliner, highlighter and mascara to emphasize and open up the area, and go easy on blusher and lipstick so the immediate focus is on your eyes. I love love love Lorac Smokey Eye Collection with Rockstar. That should give them plenty to gaze into longingly…
• Top Turn-Off: Too Much Jewelry While you adore adorning yourself with bold plastic necklaces, dangling chandelier earrings or fake bling, don’t think the fellas will love it as much as you do. Men get confused when you wear anything that doesn’t appear to be in proportion with your body – they don’t get oversized clothing, teased ‘big’ hair or six-inch platform heels either, because it doesn’t fit the contours of your figure. And, of course, your figure’s what they really want to be looking at.
  

  Lorac's Rockstar is My Favorite Smokey Eye

• Top Turn-On: Stroke-able Hair Gelled crops and tightly structured curls may be cutting-edge hair chic, but running your fingers through them isn’t a pleasant experience. Men like long hair for a reason – it feels soft and silky in contact with their hands and skin. To get hair they’re aching to touch, make sure your hair’s clean, use an intensive moisturizing conditioner once a week to maintain body and don’t use any product except a squirt of shine spray. The best stuff, or my favorite these days is Pureology. It get’s my hair softer than anything else. Most people who use it become brand loyal (I was told this by the competition!).
• Top Turn-Off: Killer Heels They might look sexy and make you feel like a man magnet, but the reason men don’t like very high heels has nothing to do with the way they look. High heels in themselves are very sexy. It’s more to do with the fact that after a couple of hours, stilettos start to exert agonizing pressure on soles, pinch toes and blister heels – causing much hobbling and moaning about wishing you’d never worn them. Stick to comfier shapes if you know you’ll be dancing, or keep the complaining limited to your girlfriends!
• Top Turn-On: Knee-Length Boots These are a winner on both fronts – women love them because they look stylish with everything from short skirts to jeans, while men adore the suggestive naughtiness of a long boot. Wear with tights, though – bare legs and sticky leather don’t go. I picked a few hot pairs and linked them to the image below. Check them out!
• Top Turn-Off: Loud Behavior There’s a world of difference between letting your hair down and dancing on the table after one too many vodkas. Far from showing your playful side, such behavior is only likely to intimidate men, who prefer the sort of woman that doesn’t seem likely to be able to drink them under the table.
• Top Turn-On: Confidence The one thing all of people’s favorite style icons have in common is their ability to project an image of being entirely comfortable in their own skin. If you look or behave as if you’re trying to attract a man’s attention, chances are you won’t, because they don’t want to be with somebody who spends their time putting on an act. Relax and enjoy the moment – and before you know it, there’ll be dozens of men hoping you look their way.

• Top Turn-Off: Too Much Jewelry While you adore adorning yourself with bold plastic necklaces, dangling chandelier earrings or fake bling, don’t think the fellas will love it as much as you do. Men get confused when you wear anything that doesn’t appear to be in proportion with your body – they don’t get oversized clothing, teased ‘big’ hair or six-inch platform heels either, because it doesn’t fit the contours of your figure. And, of course, your figure’s what they really want to be looking at.
• Top Turn-On: Stroke-able Hair Gelled crops and tightly structured curls may be cutting-edge hair chic, but running your fingers through them isn’t a pleasant experience. Men like long hair for a reason – it feels soft and silky in contact with their hands and skin. To get hair they’re aching to touch, make sure your hair’s clean, use an intensive moisturizing conditioner once a week to maintain body and don’t use any product except a squirt of shine spray. The best stuff, or my favorite these days is Pureology. It get’s my hair softer than anything else. Most people who use it become brand loyal (I was told this by the competition!).
• Top Turn-Off: Killer Heels They might look sexy and make you feel like a man magnet, but the reason men don’t like very high heels has nothing to do with the way they look. High heels in themselves are very sexy. It’s more to do with the fact that after a couple of hours, stilettos start to exert agonizing pressure on soles, pinch toes and blister heels – causing much hobbling and moaning about wishing you’d never worn them. Stick to comfier shapes if you know you’ll be dancing, or keep the complaining limited to your girlfriends!
• Top Turn-On: Knee-Length Boots These are a winner on both fronts – women love them because they look stylish with everything from short skirts to jeans, while men adore the suggestive naughtiness of a long boot. Wear with tights, though – bare legs and sticky leather don’t go. I picked a few hot pairs and linked them to the image below. Check them out!
• Top Turn-Off: Loud Behavior There’s a world of difference between letting your hair down and dancing on the table after one too many vodkas. Far from showing your playful side, such behavior is only likely to intimidate men, who prefer the sort of woman that doesn’t seem likely to be able to drink them under the table.
• Top Turn-On: Confidence The one thing all of people’s favorite style icons have in common is their ability to project an image of being entirely comfortable in their own skin. If you look or behave as if you’re trying to attract a man’s attention, chances are you won’t, because they don’t want to be with somebody who spends their time putting on an act. Relax and enjoy the moment – and before you know it, there’ll be dozens of men hoping you look their way.

• Top Turn-Off: Too Much Jewelry While you adore adorning yourself with bold plastic necklaces, dangling chandelier earrings or fake bling, don’t think the fellas will love it as much as you do. Men get confused when you wear anything that doesn’t appear to be in proportion with your body – they don’t get oversized clothing, teased ‘big’ hair or six-inch platform heels either, because it doesn’t fit the contours of your figure. And, of course, your figure’s what they really want to be looking at.
• Top Turn-On: Stroke-able Hair Gelled crops and tightly structured curls may be cutting-edge hair chic, but running your fingers through them isn’t a pleasant experience. Men like long hair for a reason – it feels soft and silky in contact with their hands and skin. To get hair they’re aching to touch, make sure your hair’s clean, use an intensive moisturizing conditioner once a week to maintain body and don’t use any product except a squirt of shine spray. The best stuff, or my favorite these days is Pureology. It get’s my hair softer than anything else. Most people who use it become brand loyal (I was told this by the competition!).
• Top Turn-Off: Killer Heels They might look sexy and make you feel like a man magnet, but the reason men don’t like very high heels has nothing to do with the way they look. High heels in themselves are very sexy. It’s more to do with the fact that after a couple of hours, stilettos start to exert agonizing pressure on soles, pinch toes and blister heels – causing much hobbling and moaning about wishing you’d never worn them. Stick to comfier shapes if you know you’ll be dancing, or keep the complaining limited to your girlfriends!
• Top Turn-On: Knee-Length Boots These are a winner on both fronts – women love them because they look stylish with everything from short skirts to jeans, while men adore the suggestive naughtiness of a long boot. Wear with tights, though – bare legs and sticky leather don’t go. I picked a few hot pairs and linked them to the image below. Check them out!
• Top Turn-Off: Loud Behavior There’s a world of difference between letting your hair down and dancing on the table after one too many vodkas. Far from showing your playful side, such behavior is only likely to intimidate men, who prefer the sort of woman that doesn’t seem likely to be able to drink them under the table.
• Top Turn-On: Confidence The one thing all of people’s favorite style icons have in common is their ability to project an image of being entirely comfortable in their own skin. If you look or behave as if you’re trying to attract a man’s attention, chances are you won’t, because they don’t want to be with somebody who spends their time putting on an act. Relax and enjoy the moment – and before you know it, there’ll be dozens of men hoping you look their way.

An amazing smile should be on the list too. Men like to imagine what kissing you would be like. Keep those teeth white and that smile on. You’re gorgeous!

Want To Know the Top 10 Worst First Date Mistakes Most Women Make? Click HERE.

Online Dating- Read on for the full story—and why you shouldn’t get discouraged should they crop up!

You’re on a first date, and it’s going horribly. Or is it? It turns out that it’s all a matter of perspective. The elements that are making your date a disaster could actually signal something much sweeter. Read on for the six signs that your doomed date is anything but.

1. Your date is not your type

Sure, you’ve seen your date’s photo on his or her profile—but when you meet face to face you realize the person is so not your type. “Next!,” you say? Not so fast. “Remember that there are thousands of happy couples out there who are not each other’s type,” says Janice MacLeod, co-author of The Dating Repair Kit. By ruling out someone just because he or she does not meet your romance requisites, you are cutting yourself off from a world of possibilities.

When Jenna, 32, of Key West, FL, met Jeremy, she thought it would never work. After all, he was three inches shorter than she was and was a bit scruffy for her taste. “I wanted to leave instantly, but I had agreed to dinner and didn’t want to be rude,” she says. “Once I got past the superficial stuff, I realized what a gem of a guy he was, and to my surprise, our souls totally clicked. I never thought my soul mate would come in a package like his, but it happened. The lesson? Never say never, no matter what your ‘type’ may be.”

If your date isn’t your type, try redefining your “type” in terms of how a person treats you and makes you feel. This will instantly broaden your dating horizons. “Then vow to finish out the date, come what may,” MacLeod concludes. “Just be in the moment, and give chemistry a chance to grow and prosper.”

Should Sweaty Palms Be a Deal Breaker?

2. Your date is super-nervous

When Jennifer, 38, of Las Vegas, NV, was on her first date with Bob, she couldn’t help but notice that his voice was shaking. And his hands were trembling. And he was sweating buckets, right through his shirt. “I thought something was

seriously wrong with this guy,” she recalls. “I had no intentions of dating him again.” But luckily for Jennifer (and Bob), she changed her mind and decided to give him a second chance. “The next date, he was much more chilled out and relaxed,” she continues. “He later told me he was nervous because I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. That was a good enough reason for me!”

Extreme nervousness on a first date could be a good sign, says MacLeod. “It probably means this person likes you a whole lot,” she says, “and might need a few dates to get past their jitters.”

When your date is super-nervous, put him or her at ease by being deliberate and calm yourself. Take a few deep breaths, smile, and make eye contact. “It helps to be compassionate and understanding about what the other person is going through,” MacLeod advises. “A first date isn’t necessarily easy, especially if you’re super-nervous to begin with, so try to cut your date some slack.”

3. Your date tells you there are other people in the picture

It’s your first dinner date. Between the hot wings and the halibut, she drops it on you: She’s just out of a major breakup and is seeing a few other men at the moment. Instant date-killer, right? Wrong, says MacLeod: “This full disclosure means your date is very honest,”she says. “Shes laying all her cards on the table and not pretending to be someone she’s not.”

Over happy hour, Bob, 29, of Colorado Springs, CO, learned more than he ever wanted to know about his date, Jill. “She told me she was dating another guy, but they weren’t totally serious—they were more like friends with benefits,” he recalls. His response to her “T.M.I.” confession? “I paid for the margaritas and told her to call me if she ever dumped her so-called ‘friend,’” he recalls. Four weeks later, she did—and Bob and Jill began dating in earnest. “She later explained that she liked me so much, she didn’t want to lead me on during that first date,” he says. “In retrospect, I guess I can respect that.”

If your date tells you he or she is dating other people, just be happy no secrets are being kept from you. (After all, it’s better to know now than later.) However, if the bombshell your date drops is more of the “I’ve cheated on every person I’ve ever been with” variety, this is a major red flag, according to MacLeod. Beware.

4. You argue

You’re having a nice, normal, getting-to-know-you conversation when suddenly you have a difference of opinion. What begins as a friendly disagreement quickly escalates into an all-out fight. Whether you’re arguing over politics, religion, or even the merits of VH-1’s Celebreality lineup, an argument on a first date never feels like a good sign. But a fight can actually be a very good thing. If you’re arguing, it can mean there’s passion between you. Sparks are flying—sure, maybe not in the way you’d hoped, but they’re still there. “Arguing can lead into interesting conversation, which is part of what keeps a relationship alive,” says MacLeod.

Is a First Date Spat a Red Flag?

When 28-year-old Noah, of Burbank, CA, met Lillian, they instantly clashed. “It felt like we couldn’t see eye-to-eye on anything that first date,” he recalls. “She was a vegetarian, and I ordered a rib-eye. An hour-long debate on animal rights ensued.” Despite the meat melee, their connection was still meaty enough to merit a second date. “She was my opposite, sure, but being with her was never boring,” he says.

The next time you find yourself in a heated argument with a new date, try embracing your differences. After all, who’d want to date a clone of him- or herself? Agree to disagree, then search for common ground.

5. The date feels more like an interview

The entire time Mark, 41, of Plano, TX, was out with Jackie, he felt like he was in the hot seat. “She just kept asking me question after question—where I was from, what my favorite ice-cream flavor was, where I wanted to be in five years,” he says. “It was really uncomfortable, and it was hard to feel a vibe or any sparks over all the interview speak.”

If your date spends the whole time you’re together shooting questions at you rapid-fire and giving you the hard sell, it could just mean that he or she is impressed by you and is simply trying too hard, says MacLeod. That was the case for Mark and Jackie: “Once I ‘passed’ her pre-screening interview, she let her true self come out—and that’s when we actually started to have some fun,” he recalls.

When your date is grilling you, attempt to turn it around and ask some questions of your own. That way, it won’t feel so one-sided. If you have a second date, MacLeod suggests catching a movie. “That way, you won’t have to talk the whole time,” she says. After your first-date talkfest, it will be a nice break.

6. There’s no good-night kiss

If your date isn’t sealed with a kiss, it doesn’t always mean you’re getting the kiss-off. In fact, a sans-smooch soiree could even be a good thing, according to MacLeod. “Not kissing you on a first date very often means he’s being respectful,” she says. “He’s waiting for the perfect moment to have that great first kiss, like people have in movies. Plus, this means he’s probably not kissing all his other first dates, either. He’s too selective to just give his kisses away.”

Judy, 32, of Baltimore, says her current boyfriend waited four whole dates to engage her in a lip-lock. “I was wondering if he just wanted to be pals or what,” she recalls. “It turns out that he’s really old-fashioned. He just wanted us to build a friendship before we took things to the next level. The wait made our first kiss even that much more spectacular. I think we both saw fireworks!”

In the absence of a smooch, look for other signs of attraction. Does your date make eye contact, give you undivided attention, and make you feel like you’re the only person in the room? In this case, actions speak louder than… action. Hang in there, and you may well be smooching in no time.

Julie Taylor has written for Cosmopolitan and Redbook, and is the co-author of How to Be a Dominant Diva. She and her now-husband’s first date was less than perfect—but she’s eternally grateful she gave him a second chance!

Does your online dating profile look just like all the rest? We’ll help you give it some pizzazz with these tips from a Match.com ProfilePro writer.

Save Something for the Emails and the First Date

I read dozens of dating profiles every day, and not because I’m looking for a date: I am a professional online dating profile writer for Match.com’s ProfilePro service. It’s my job to take someone’s profile and some additional information gleaned from a survey, then use that information to craft something that really showcases who each person is as an individual — and that will attract the kind of person he or she is seeking.

As you might have guessed, I’ve developed a few ideas of my own about where people often go wrong when writing their profiles. I tend to see the same problems over and over again. Here are the most common mistakes people make and how to fix them so your profile really pops.

Mistake #1: Using generic, clichéd languages Seducing Mr Right Making Your Dating Profile POP
This is definitely the most common issue with dating profiles. It seems that everyone has a “good sense of humor,” is “fun,” and is “happy and positive.” Other clichéd phrases and terms to avoid: glass-half-full person, outgoing and friendly, romantic, affectionate. In general, long lists of adjectives will make your potential match’s eyes cross before he or she gets to the end of the sentence.

Solution: Get specific
When you want to use an adjective to describe yourself, think of an anecdote or example that shows how you embody that trait and share that instead. For example, if you are romantic, you might say, “I’m the type of partner who will plan a surprise weekend getaway to a cozy little B&B on the coast where we can snuggle in bed or watch the waves crashing on the shore.” Or if family is really important, you might write, “Nothing means more to me than spending the weekend cheering on my sons in their lacrosse games.”

Mistake #2: One-sided profiles
I always find it fascinating when a client either writes the entire profile about himself or who she’s looking for… and that’s it. My choice of pronouns is intentional: I’ve found, anecdotally, that more guys tend to write about themselves and don’t include much about the woman they’re seeking (except perhaps for “attractive”). And it seems that there are definitely more women than men out there who have a long, detailed laundry list of requirements for their desired mate.

Solution: Balance it out
Make sure your profile is balanced; definitely share some telling details about yourself and who you are, but save some information for the first email, date, and beyond! Don’t write an autobiography. And if you have a really picky checklist of traits your mate must possess, remember that you’re turning away potential matches before you even get to see if, perhaps, that one requirement just isn’t quite as important as you thought (such as having dark hair or being at least six feet tall). Some qualities are non-negotiable, of course, but if something is just a “bonus,” state it that way in your profile. Or you might say, “I’m particularly drawn to people with dark hair, but I won’t turn away blondes or redheads.”

Mistake #3: Too much text
You know you’ve seen it: a profile where you have to scroll down, and down, and down again… and by that point, your eyes are glazing over. As a profile writer, so are mine —and then I heave a sigh because I know I have to cut that profile way down, knowing that sometimes the client isn’t going to take it very well. People with long profiles tend to be attached to every bit of information that’s included in them. They’ve often worried over each word, trying to craft a profile that perfectly reflects their personalities. So I’ll tell you what I tell them: a truly standout profile isn’t very long; it’s usually a few short paragraphs. It can still tell you just as much about a person as a longer one will, but you’ll keep reading a shorter profile until the end without needing a nap when you’re done.

Solution: Edit, edit, edit
Here’s where a trusted friend — and, dare I say, a professional profile writer! — can really come in handy. Think about how you can say the same thing using fewer words. Try to put some of the information into the shorter sections on the left-hand side of your profile. You don’t need to share how much you love playing tennis in your essay if you already mentioned that in the “interests” section, for example. And shorten your paragraphs to three to four sentences each. Short paragraphs provide much-needed white space and help break up your profile so that readers can stop and take a breath between ideas. A quick-and-dirty guideline is to have two paragraphs about yourself, then two about who you’re looking for and perhaps one or two sentences at the end to wrap it up.

Mistake #4: Photos that don’t do a profile justice
Please, please take down that photo of you taken with your cell phone camera in a dirty mirror. It isn’t helping you at all. And do you have your shirt off, sir? Please put it back on! Whew, thanks. Now, let’s talk: You’re not doing yourself any favors if you have bad photos posted with your profile. And those include you with your arm around a woman who is quite possibly your ex, but probably your sister. Or six photos of your dogs in various positions on the couch. All kidding aside, even blurry, unflattering, or poorly cropped photos can really detract from your profile.

Solution: Tell a story with your pictures
I see way too many profiles where the writing is good, but the photos fall flat. We’re visual people, especially these days. Your photos tell just as much of a story about you as your written profile does. They should show clearly what you look like, of course, but also tell a bit about who you are. Do you like to kayak? Get someone to snap a photo of you in your boat on the water. Are your friends the most important people in your world? Hand someone the camera when you’re out dancing and get a candid shot. Make sure you also include one good full-body shot and one close-up of your face, but if you paid for a professional photo shoot, don’t put all eight of the “good” ones up. No one wants to click through a bunch of photos that are all really similar to each other. Pick one or two of the best ones and get some friends to help you take some candid shots for the rest of your profile photos. And please, no exes! In fact, if you want to avoid inadvertently turning someone off, don’t put up a photo of you with anyone of the opposite sex that could be misinterpreted as an ex — even if she really is your sister.

Author Lauren Ware lives and writes in northern Vermont. Besides crafting new dating profiles for clients of Match.com’s ProfilePro service, she pens the About.com Guide to Small Farms and writes about medicine, science, food and farming for such publications as Proto and Wondertime. Read more of her work at www.LaurenWare.com.

BEFORE YOU GO TO MATCH, MY STORY…

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There is someone for everyone. Match is the most amazing way to find someone.

I truly did find my love on Match.com. I was at a Christmas party a few years back and a friends mom was talking about Match.com and all of the interesting men she had met as a result of being on the site. She hadn’t met anyone serious, but had met a few men that intrigued her.

Left alone with my laptop later that night, I thought I would go on and look at the men, see what I thought. At the time, the site would not let me on without signing up. I wasn’t thrilled to sign up, but I did it. I was curious!

I had to tweak my profile, change a setting here or there to get the desired results, but once I did, I liked what I saw. For instance, the body types you have to pick for yourself seemed a little too narrow for my taste. I selected “curvy”, because I am. But, apparently in online dating code, that means “fat”. So I changed it to slim and athletic, which I also am, and found I was matched with more appropriate men.

Remember, this happened at a Christmas party. By the 2nd week of January, I went out with Roland and our wedding date is set for 10-10-10.

I am so very happy and wish I could share this experience with everyone. It is a special thing when your find the level of compatibility online and then meet in person.

So I only did it for one month. I think a month is like $30-$40. But with this 7 day FREE trial, you COULD get away with paying nothing. It is well worth the money anyway.

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Seducing Mr Right- Deception in Online Dating

A recent article shared conclusions from researchers at UC Berkeley’s School of Information. The paper “Self-presentation and Deception in Online Dating” found pretty much what we’ve known all along.

Women Lie About Weight, Men Lie About Height Click HERE for Match.com Free Trial

• Men are more likely to make the first move, sending that first “wink” or email. They’re quicker to respond to women’s queries.
• Women responded to only 16 percent of messages, and they take longer to respond.
• Both genders seek partners similar to themselves in age, education, height, religion, politics and views about smoking.
• Women are less open-minded, at least regarding ethnicity. They’re twice as likely as men to specify that they’re seeking someone of their own ethnicity.
• Both sexes tell white lies. Men say they are a half-inch taller. Women shave five pounds off their weight.
• Women’s profiles related more to home, sex and emotions; men’s profiles talked about work.
• A photograph is the dominant predictor of whether men will connect. Women value narratives in profiles in addition to pictures.

Some of this information was garnered by content analysis of people’s actual online behavior. They tracked people’s actions (who initiated contact, how long it took to respond, words in profiles). But they must have interviewed daters to get the info on what was attractive in a profile, their true height and how much they really weighed.

In another study reported in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by a team from Harvard Business School, Boston University and MIT, the conclusion was that less is more in how much is shared in a profile. Their reasoning: when a lot of information is exchanged, more differences are exposed and there is less attraction.

Now this conclusion I found interesting. I suppose it depends on what you are aiming to get out of the online dating experience. Personally, I was interested in meeting someone online BECAUSE of the opportunity to get to know similarities and differences without the pressure of the relationship, regardless of how early into the relationship we were ( like meeting someone at a bar and they start to like everything you like and hate everything you hate), and make decisions based on that information.

But, if you are dating online for the end result of dating, just the action, well, I can see you would want to give as little information as possible while still remaining interesting.

That seems to be such a waste of time to me. I would so much rather eliminate people that are clearly incompatible ( and I hope they would do the same to me) than date despite the core differences and try to make it work anyway.

I speak from experience. Marrying someone who doesn’t like who you really are is no fun for anyone.

Anyway, what do you think of these two studies? Anything here but common sense?

Mark August 10, 2010 at 7:58 am

I never liked putting a photo up. It bothered me to think of people I know possibly seeing my pic on an online dating site. I was always fine with exchanging pics after a woman and I had emailed a couple of times.

And I agree that there is a balance between not enough info and too much. The real problem I see is that people say the same things over and over again.

“I’m not into playing games.”

“I want to be friends first.”

“I am just as comfortable staying home and cuddling in front of the TV as I am in going out in my little black dress.”

“I like to go to museums and wineries.”

“My friends say I’m funny.”

“I like to go out and have a good time and laugh a lot.” Really? You enjoy laughing? At long last my search is over! I’ve found another who enjoys laughing!

When I read things like that above, what I’m really reading in nothing. It says nothing to me other than the woman lacks imagination. What I really want to see is some spark of intelligence in the profile. I don’t care if she likes museums. I do care if she tells me what she likes about museums — what’s her favorite exhibit she’s seen? Is there an art movement she especially likes, and why?

What a good profile does is convey a sense of the person.

I also think women respond to fewer messages because women get more messages. Men pursue. Women choose.